Notes from a parish cat and his author Julie Mackenzie

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I am Father Tom Fish, esteemed member of the religious team at Temptation of Christ Parish in the novels by author Julie Mackenzie. As to my background, I was invited into the rectory as a stray, laid on the charm, and was invited to stay, even honorarily ordained and no less spiritual than my sidekick Father Will. He dotes on me to high heaven and forgives all of my street cat proclivities, whatever the hell that means.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Why?


When I was a little girl, all my questions started with "why"--why weren't there altar girls, why did smoke come out of smokestacks and wouldn't it make us sick?

Today, I'm asking why my dearest little man would have to leave this world.

I was with Vinny all last night. I slept on the couch and every couple of hours, I would check on him. His eyes were closed, he was still struggling with his breathing, but there was hope. I was grateful that he wasn't gasping for air, prompting me to have to take him to a vet hospital with strangers and strange equipment and lights in the middle of the night.

This morning, I was hoping he would show signs of improvement, but he didn't. His breathing became deeper and he couldn't move. He was helpless. I stayed with him, continued to give him diluted chicken broth, but I knew I couldn't do any more for him.

The vet clinic down the street opened at eight o'clock and the wonderful vet we saw yesterday was there and we talked on the phone. She told me to bring him right in. She could tell he was nearing the end. The tests from yesterday were back and liver and kidneys were fine, so she suspected the heart was failing. We decided not to let him suffer as his symptoms could sometimes lead to spasms and most of all, fright over what was happening to him. I wanted to help him to the Bridge under her care, talking to him as he left us.

Why? How can we get so close to our little friends and have them for only a short while? Some of us get closer to them than we get to other humans. We trust them and they trust us with every purr and woof. They cuddle with us, no questions ever asked, so accepting of everything and everyone.

Thank you, dear friends for all of your purrs and prayers. I appreciate all of you so very, very much. My writing at least gives me a way to express my grief and share my tears.

--Julie

40 comments:

Cara n Crew said...

We don't have the words to express how sad we are to read this. We are so sorry for your loss. Purrs and prayers of comfort,

Pip, Smidgen, Minnie, and Hollie

Kea said...

I'm so, so deeply sorry. I don't know why. That's a question we humans struggle with constantly: Why is life so unfair? Why is there so much sorrow and suffering? I don't have an answer; no one does.

Please know I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers and am sending universal Light, for comfort and for healing of your heart. You gave Vinny the final and best--and most difficult--gift we can give our beloved fur companions; be at peace knowing that.

Blessings and (((Hugs)))

Katnip Lounge said...

Bon Voyage, Sweet Vinny.

I am so sorry for your loss. Words cannot express the emptiness that death leaves us with, but love can help heal the hole. Know that you are loved, and we grieve with you.

I firmly believe our furry friends pave the way for us to Heaven. Godspeed, Vinny, until we meet again.

Random Felines said...

We are so very sorry that Vinny has crossed the Bridge. Mom read a story once that said that our pets don't live as long as people because their love is so pure. I don't know if that is any comfort, but know that our angels ^Butterscotch^ & ^Tigger^ were there to greet ^Vinny^ and help him adjust.

Angel Junior, Orion and Sammy said...

We are so very sorry for the loss of Vinny. We are sending all of you purrs and hugs at this time of sorrow.

Catio Tales said...

We wish we knew and that somewhere there is an answer. It doesn't make sense and it is not fair. Our thoughts and purrs are very much with you. xxx

Jans Funny Farm said...

We are so sorry for your loss. It is painful to say good-bye. Sending soft purrs and tail wags.

Hannah and Lucy said...

We are so sorry to hear the news about Vinny going to Rainbow Bridge. We know you will miss him so much but you did the kindest thing you could ever do for him and he will love you more than ever for this. He knew you were helping him to a better place and he will watch over you with love always.
The best thought is that he is whole again and running round with all his old friends and is fit and well. You will be reunited again one day and he will be first at the Bridge to greet you.
Luv Hannah, Lucy and Mum Sue xx xx xx

KC and the Giggleman Kitties said...

We are so sad to hear about Vinny running off to the Bridge.
Sending love and purrs and headbumps,
KC
Missy Blue Eyes
Faith Boomerang
Sol
Smokey
Brutus Jr.
Mom ML

meowmeowmans said...

Oh, Julie, we are so very sorry to hear that Vinny had to go to the Bridge. Thank you for loving him so much and so well. Please know you are in our purrs and prayers.

OKcats said...

Oh no, this breaks our hearts. We're so very sorry you had to say goodbye to sweet Mr. Vinny. We never have enough time with them, it seems. It's so easy to love a cat, and so devastating when we must send them off to be free at the Bridge. He was very lucky to have been loved so much by you. We're sending you our softest purrs and most sincere condolences.

Fuzzy, Zoe, and mom Jana

The Island Cats said...

Oh no! We didn't know Vinny was sick...and now he has gone to the Bridge! We are so very sorry. Our mom says she knows how you feel...questions that can never be answered. We send you comforting purrs, headbutts and hugs to help you during this sad time.

Wally, Ernie, Zoey and mom Sue

Zippy, Sadie, Speedy and M'Gee said...

We're so sorry to hear about Vinny, they make it so easy to love them and so hard to say goodbye. Yet, it's the most love we can show them, to send them off to Heaven ahead of us so they can be whole and out of pain.

ZOOLATRY said...

Our loss is heaven's gain. More playful whiskers have crossed the bridge today. We share in your sadness and send our purrs and prayers to you.

The Daily Pip said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I know Vinny was comforted by your presence and care last night and always. He sounds like a wonderful cat and a part of him will always be with you, watching over you.

Rest in peace Vinny.

Mr Puddy said...

Dear Julie, I'm deeply sorry for your loss. It's hard for me to believe Vinny has crossed the Bridge. Just heard, he was enjoying the steam with you yesterday. I'm sending all of my purrs and hugs for your difficult time.

Mariodacat said...

Oh dear, I'm so very sorry to hear of Vinny's passing. It seems like they are with us such a short time too. Bless you for helping him cross so he not have to suffer. It was your final act of loving kindness and so very hard to go through. But, he's at peace now and has no pain. M says she'll keep you in her thoughts & prayers and is sending you HUGS. I'm sending you soothing, comforting purrs. purr purr purr purr

ANGEL ABBYGRACE said...

Julie
We are so sorry to hear of you loss of your little man. We will hold Vinny in our deepest purrs and say soft purrayers. I only know that it is far better for even a short while to have shared the love than never to have shared it at all. The breaking of our hearts is a small token to pay for the oneness that is shared with that special furry one.
***
"Be not dismayed at Good-bye's. A farewell is necessary before we can meet again."
***

Brian's Home Blog said...

Dear Julie, my sisters and I are so very, very sorry to hear about sweet Vinny. Our whiskers are all weepy wet hear and we send you lots of love, hugs and purrs from the bottom of our hearts.

Ikaika said...

We are so sorry that your sweet little man had to leave you. Sending you gentle purrs and headbumps.

Run free at the Bridge, handsome Vinny ...

Old Kitty said...

Me and my cat Charlie came over from Jan's Funny Farm. We are so sorry about Vinny. He sounds like an amazing kitty and is now much missed. We are truly sorry. Please accept our deepest sympathies, purrs and hugs. Please take care
x

Mickey's Musings said...

WE just heard about Vinnie and we are very sad.
It is never easy to say goodbye to a wonderful friend.We are sending lots of purrs to comfort you.
Purrs Mickey,Georgia & Tillie

Kat's Kats said...

Purrs & prayers from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Kitty Horde & their Feeders.

May the memories of love outweigh the grief of loss.

Fr. Tom Fish said...

Julie says..Thank you so much for all of your comments. They have helped me get through a most difficult day, a day that hasn't even seemed real at times. What a comfort you have all been!

Cats~Goats~Quotes said...

We are so sorry to read that Vinnie had to leave for The Bridge. You have our prayers..
~ The Bunch and Mom Bobbie

Quill and Greyson said...

We are so sorry for your loss. Mom knows the day will come when she will ask the same question and hopes knowing there are others who feel your sorrow eases yours.

Purrs and Hugs

Fin & Meg

Mark's Mews (Marley, Lori, Loki, and Binq) said...

I am very sorry to hear about your loss of Vinny. I lost my dearest cat, Skeeter, 2 years ago this month in much the same way. So I can assure you that having him leave while staring into your eyes and hearing your voice was a source of comfort to him and will be a comforting memory for you in years to come.

The Big Thing

Laila and Angel Minchie said...

We are just heartbroken to learn of your sweet Vinny's passing. You are in our thoughts and prayers.

Katiez Furry Mewz said...

Alla our purrz am wif u rite now... Vinny am luved and waiting fur u over the bridge in the Lord's loving lap...

Katie Too and da Katie Katz Gang

Everycat said...

Julie and Tom, we are all very sorry to learn of dear Vinnie's passing, but you gave him the kindest and most difficult gift. To pass with love and ease. Memories of Vinnie will make you smile again soon, we know that it is hard right now, but it will happen. Vinnie was a very special boy and he will watch over you, Tom and the new kitty every day.

We send you love and rumbly purrs

Whicky Wuudler
Oliver
Gerry
& The Ape

Parker said...

We are so very sorry for your loss of such a wonderful friend.
You shall be in our thoughts and prayers...

The Lee County Clowder said...

We're so sorry for your loss. It is kind of impressive how deeply a furrkid can take hold of your heart, and how much it can hurt when they leave.

Sending comforting purrrrrrsss and healing headbuttss to you all.

ppuurrrrrrrr

Echik said...

I am so sorry for your loss. These kind of things really happen, we don't know why, how and when, but all we could do is just to accept the fact that they must already leave us and go to the most wonderful place of all. All we can do is just to move on and also be happy for Vinny for I am sure that he is now happy up there. You are loved and I send my prayers of comfort to you at this time of sorrow and grief.

Hope you will still have a happy new year since I know that Vinny would be happy to see you are doing fine and not to worry him up there. :-)

Take care!

http://www.floppycats.com/

Baby Patches said...

I is so so sorry to hears about your sweet Vinny. Momma and I were going to post about our Secret Paws gift from you guys and den we came by only to sees dis sad news. We are sending you many loving thoughts, hugs, and purrrrrrrrrrrs. Your love for Vinny will never die!

Admiral Hestorb said...

I am so very very sorry and it makes me cry for you and your own sadness now. It is a terrible loss and we love pur furbabies so much. Losing them is so exquisitely painful.

Much love and comfort from me to you.

Admiral Hestorb said...

And today I came back to thank you for your love and purrs and prayers for me while I have been sick.

I know your heart still aches for precious Vinnie. Much love to you.

Anya said...

Happy New Year!!
We wish you a joyful life
full of healthy, happiness and pleasure :)

Hugs Love Anya

Kareltje =^.^=

Betsie =(^.^)=

Sweet Purrfections said...

I was out of town last week when this posted and I was so sorry to hear about Vinny going to the bridge. My thoughts are with you.

Milo and Alfie Marshall said...

You don't mention how old Vinny was, but his life was cut short. But although it may not have been a long life, it was a good life for sure ~ because he had you looking after him. How could it have been anything else? Thank you for making Vinny's life sweet.

Avalon's Garden and Mewsings of Garden Cottage Cats said...

Awww ,,, We are so so sorry,, we know your pain. The other side of the Bridge must really be a Beautiful place ,because so many Beautiful Souls are there.
Forever Loved, Always Missed ~
So Sorry for your Loss .....
The Garden Cottage Cats ~