Monday, February 19, 2018

Fuss and Feathers and Fruit

Oh, lord - he's still here.

Would you believe the housekeeper came by over the weekend just to make sure the priests didn't eat him? She's never here. It's the only time I find peace which was totally wrecked because of this stupid thing.



She calls it a catberry because of the ears. I call it a wuss. Cute, but still a wuss. Because of her showing up on the scene over the weekend, I found myself mostly in Will's bedroom on my windowseat. All that chattering downstairs. You wouldn't believe it. 

I already have plans for our little friend should I get my paws on him. I will decimate his seeds, wipe that smug look off his face and eat him, yum, yum, yummm....

Wait a minute! Here's a thought: Why don't I just get him and bat him under the refrigerator? Or, someplace else dark? Then he'll just disappear and nobody'll know where. He'll rot in the dust, ancient crumbs and spilled catnip. I'll have to decide. This is going to be tough.

Meanwhile, I have to face the continuing saga of the catberry, a showoff who is stealing my thunder.

Hark! What now? A photo shoot? Are you kidding me??




Let's change the subject.
Spring is in the air. Or, so they say. If it is, I sure can't see it.
I know I'm being grumpy. Thanks, friends for letting me vent.

Your soon-to-be vegetarian and always holy man,
Tom



Monday, February 12, 2018

The Mouse Gets the Message

What a Sunday I had yesterday!

The rectory was quiet, nobody around with all the activity being mostly with the priests meeting parishioners after Mass. I ducked out early. I'm sure the mouse thought I wasn't around, either.

He couldn't have been more wrong.

I heard him in the kitchen and after a little bit of patience and maneuvering, I caught him. Wow! I haven't lost my touch!








As I sat with him lying in front of me, I apologized:

Little mouse, I gave you your last rites, so you should be okay. I am a cat, after all, but I do feel badly, even though you should know any house with a cat is a danger zone.




I hope the other mice contemplating meeting me or hanging out in the kitchen for crumbs from the housekeeper's cooking will think twice.

So, for this Mancat Monday, I really proved myself! I became a mouser once again!

PS - Afterwards, I did go to my dish for my leftover breakfast of fish. Between you and me, mouse doesn't taste nearly as good.

Holy and huntingly yours,
Tom


Monday, February 5, 2018

Battle Wounds

What could be more appropriate on a day that is dedicated to our catmanliness??

Recently I was engaged in a Viking battle that we won, by the way. But, before I get into that, I have some spainin' to do:

Cats have nine lives. For me that means I have some parallel lives. I know, I thought this was bogus, too, but it explains my infrequent exploits and the traces they leave behind.

For instance, I, Father Tom Fishworthy, in an alternate universe recently was invincible Viking General Fishgar the Horrible, ruthless with man and mouse.

Here I am in my helmet. Do you like my horns?





Very proud in my full battle regalia depicted on my victory poster. I have a hankie from the Lady Fishgar tucked into my armor next to my heart.




 A leader should always be on the battlefield with his men. It's great for ESPRIT DE CLAW...!

Well, I was so caught up in everything that I didn't notice I had an injury. Alas!! A sword point down my nose, drawing blood!

And it has remained! Even though I have returned from my journey it is there for all the world to see!



The housekeeper was bereft and has gone about clucking and putting on some healing salve.

In true mancat fashion, I am enduring all the attention.

I'm hoping for at least a scar.

~All for now until my next adventure,

I am your faithful servant and courageous mancat,

Tom











Monday, January 29, 2018

Make Way for Brilliance!!

Hi, everybody on this Mancat Monday!

As we all know, there is nothing more macho than creativity. Coming up with a new idea that helps everyone is our ikigai - the Japanese word for personal fulfillment. That applies to us as cats, having missions in life appreciated by only a select few, but an important few:


But, no one here - and this brought tears to my eyes - gave two hoots or two Hail Marys for my invention or brilliance. No atta boys, no expressions of wonder. They may have bought a hundred copies of this issue, but I can see right through that!

Here is what I invented that has taken the world by storm:

The combination of CAT BOX AND SCRATCHER!! 


I think it's worthy of awards not to mention personal satisfaction. The idea that one can relieve  oneself and trim the claws right afterwards..I think is genius!

Here's a closeup. The International Order of Inventors and Engineers couldn't stop talking about it!


Sure there are a few bugs to work out, but I think this is a great way to start a new week. What say you, my friends?

Ever holy, hearty and humble,
Tom




Monday, January 22, 2018

Where Is Everybody?

Hi, guys!!

Happy Mancat Monday to all of you. Here I am for my regularly scheduled program..post, haha!

I heard somewhere that this is National Answer Your Cat's Questions Day. What I want to know is where does everybody go when the ground is covered in snow?

Now, I see footprints outside, so I know we have visitors and when I see them I run all over the place, window to window to catch a glimpse. They manage just a quick hello, saying they have to keep moving to stay warm. Poor things.

I was told the chipmunks hide under the little shed that sits next to the rectory. Don't see them much at all. Squirrels run around when it gets a little warmer, chasing each other up and down trees getting rid of cabin fever and those pesky couch potato ounces. I go room to room and make up adventures, but that's for another mancat post another day.

Another question - am I allowed two? Could I invite them in? That would be fun and I promise to put all predatory thoughts on hold. Let's see what the housekeeper says..(not a snowball's chance, I'm sure.)

If any of you are outside and you see me, give a tail-up wave, won't you? We'll chat longer when the windows are open and there's no more cold and no more snow..



Til then, stay safe friends and meet me here again next week!

Ever hearty and holy,
Tom

Monday, January 15, 2018

A Stubborn Mate

Hi, all!

Yesterday the temperatures nosedived and I mean down the nose!!

We were all cozy and warm but keeping an eye on the outside temps, relieved it was still around 32 degrees. In the morning 32, mid-day 32, evening 32 degrees. Same temp. Didn't move.

We got suspicious.

This morning. Again, 32 degrees.







We finally came to the conclusion that after the warm spell we had last week, the temperature gauge has stubbornly decided it is NOT going back to single digits. No way. No how. Not even under threat of the rack - that is if they have such torture for temperature gauges.

We just won't know how cold it is right outside the window.

We'll live with that, just telling ourselves it's 32 degrees. Not zero. Not minus 5. Not 10.

Sound good?





This is Mancat Monday and as ever, I am

Holy and hearty
Your obedient servant,

Tom Fishworthy ^..^

Monday, January 8, 2018

Meet Me Here!

Hi, everybody!

Tom here and I have so many plans for this new year, I don't know where to begin.

In the past, as you know, I've always tried to stay busy - in between naps, that is. Every once in a great while, I would post something on here, but that was it.

I didn't tell you because I was too embarrassed, but one of those activities involved trying to write a western.




I, "Fast Gun" Fishworthy, started off with: "The lawman entered the saloon, confident he had his man, only to be knocked down by an over-friendly dalmatian."
I honestly didn't know where to go from there. So I was stuck. Writer's block, I guess they call it.

~~

I tried singing. Starting with the opera Aida, it turned out to be more like i-yiyiyi!!!




 Housekeeper covered her ears and everything (which actually is not so bad considering she has ugly ears.)

Anyway, I'm going to be really careful what I pursue in this new year.  What I will be doing is posting on my blog every MANCAT MONDAY. I'll be here!! I can only come on once a week, but Monday will be a good time to post and then I have a week to come visit you all at yours.

Don't forget, if once a week isn't enough, come see me at http://www.facebook.com/FrTomFish I'm there every other day with whatever pops into my head.

So, be good. Don't take any wooden nickels and most of all, always keep an eye out for those bearing treats!!

Hail, hearty and holy,
Tom