Notes from a parish cat and his author Julie Mackenzie

My photo
I am Father Tom Fish, esteemed member of the religious team at Temptation of Christ Parish in the novels by author Julie Mackenzie. As to my background, I was invited into the rectory as a stray, laid on the charm, and was invited to stay, even honorarily ordained and no less spiritual than my sidekick Father Will. He dotes on me to high heaven and forgives all of my street cat proclivities, whatever the hell that means.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Someone to Watch Over Me

One of the hazards of being a cat is when people don't look where they're going. They'll stumble all over you. It happens to me time and again and I could scream. Actually, I do scream..and hiss..and run when some dumb stoopmagoogle (one of Jack's quaint expressions) will kick me as he's walking or step on my tail or just get in my way.

From where I stand, people are skyscraper tall with two swinging legs. Some of their feet are really big and can hurt when they come down on a bulky furball like me. Want a cat's perspective? Lie down on the floor and look up at someone standing over you. It's scary.

When I get in someone's way it's because I had to get down the hall and they unexpectedly came shooting out of one of the side rooms. So you can picture the inside of the rectory: There's the parlor as you come in on the right, the conference room left, Jack and Will's parish office (small version) and the kitchen is at the far back. Geez, sometimes I just need to get to the litter box. I say a quick prayer to the patron saint of safe passage, but sometimes I forget.

The rectory can be a busy place at times as parishioners come in and out to do this and that. Every so often, a new person comes and Mary Lou, ever the gracious hostess, will invite them in for a cup of tea or coffee and muffins. Yes, going from point A to point B can be hazardous to your health, but never fear. A kitchen at the end of any journey is well worth it. 

Now for my Mea Culpa Question of the Week:

I know, I promised sins. They'll have to wait. I have a question right now that might involve a sin of some sort. I drank holy water when Jack poured it into my dish at church. He said it was fresher than what I had. I drank it, but was wondering about the consequences...

What happens when a cat drinks holy water? Do my innards get blessed? (Now there's a thought)

Bottoms up,
--Tom


2 comments:

Brian's Home Blog said...

I think drinking the holy water would be good for you, you can get blessed from the inside to the outside.

Everycat said...

We have experienced the lumpen footfalls of the lumbering humans Tom. We taught ourselves to herd humans, mainly towards the kitchen where our food lives. Our humans are now well trained that even the slightest hint that a giant ape foot might be heading towards us, makes the humans hop about to avoid us - we move forward, the humans move back (towards the kitchen_ see?

Tom, don't see these dangerous human feet as a peril, see them as a training opportunity!

Whicky Wuudler